I have no idea what you expect from me anymore and I done trying to figure it out. What's done is done, it's over.

My life at the moment. Lots of books & studying!

I'm a hot mess. Comfy clothes, messy hair and a ton of books surrounding me. Tv on in the background and my i-tunes blasting music from my computer. All while finishing final projects, papers and studying for finals. I'm almost done for the semester! I can honestly say I'm really proud of myself for making it through the semester.

I say I'm fine but usually I'm really not...

I got this card in the mail yesterday for my birthday. All I want to do is cry. Last year I celebrated my last birthday that I will have without knowing about my MS.

I don't want it to define me but these little things keep popping up. Like the really bad episode I had, then this birthday card and I can't forget the three time weekly injection reminders. I don't want this life.

I'm trying so hard to be positive about all this. I'm trying so hard to find some good but I can't. I can't stop wondering what the rest of my life is going to be like.

And I might be okay
But I'm not fine at all

Taylor Swift- All Too Well

I really didn't think this was going to be so hard. I don't think I've ever hated life as much as I do right now. I'm trying so hard to stay strong  but its not as easy as one would think. It's like my world has been turned upside down and when I flipped it back nothing was like it used to be. I have to do everything so differently, nothing is the same as it used to be.

What do you do when nothing is like it used to be? What do you do when you don't feel like doing anything that you used to do? Sometimes I feel as though something is wrong with me.