Do I take the step and reclaim my life?

I'm trying so hard to be okay. I'm trying so hard not to worry. Everyone keeps telling me everything will be okay. But something is wrong I can feel it, I'm really hoping that I am wrong though. I'm hoping that everything is fine. But I have this feeling that something isn't right, I've had that same feeling before when I knew that something wasn't right with me. Unfortunately I was right that time, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.

I need this feeling to go away because this time I need to be okay. I can't handle having anything else wrong with me, I just can't especially this. I just keep thinking what did I do wrong. Maybe it's because I tried too hard to follow the rules, I tried to hard to be this perfect person. Is it a punishment? Is this god's way of showing me that no one is perfect?

I'm handling the MS, I'm getting through that. But I don't think I could handle if something is wrong with me and I can't have kids because of it. I know I can't handle that. That's something that has the power to destroy me and all the dreams I've had for my life. I know there are other ways to have a child but it's not the same. I'm hoping like hell that it's just my meds messing with my body or something else that is fixable in someway. Because this is not something I'm prepared for or ready to deal with.