Finding Inner Peace

I always used to say I just want to be happy. I must have said that to my counselor a hundred times, "I just want to be happy". Back then I thought the key to my happiness was to finally have a diagnosis so I could move on. (This was after I had been undiagnosed with MS.) I was so sure once I was diagnosed things would be fine then I'd be happy and life would be perfect. But boy was I wrong.

Since then I've learned that a diagnosis can't make me happy, neither will a relationship with a guy. I needed to make myself happy, to be happy with who I am. I needed to live for myself. I'm sharing this with you because you need to depend on yourself to make yourself truly happy. You need to love yourself before you can truly be loved by someone else.

Take sometime to do things for yourself, do something to make yourself happy. Be kind to yourself. It's better to be truly happy with  your "single" self than yourself while you are in a relationship. Don't use a relationship as a buffer to your happiness. Yes you deserve more than anything in the world to be happy, I'm not saying you don't but sometimes a relationship isn't the answer. You can't use a relationship/diagnosis or whatever it may be to make you happy. You can't go "searching" for happiness, because happiness isn't a material possession, it's not something you can own or hold or visually "see". It's more of a mental state, happiness lies within you.

Bedroom Re-do

This past August I decided that I wanted to turn my bedroom into a calming relaxing space for myself. My room at the time was a tropical blue and while blue is one of my favorite colors this particular blue didn't scream relaxing. Yes it was pretty but it was more bright and in your face. Over the last year or two I fell in love with different shades of grey. Therefore, I decided why not go with grey. It's subtle and calming, at least that's how I feel when I see the color.

I chose a darker grey as the color for an accent wall and went with a lighter grey for the rest of the walls. I really love cherry blossoms and thought what fun it would be to stencil. I found the perfect shades of grey and cherry blossom stencil, so off I went to begin my new project!

For me there is just something so relaxing about painting or any kind of hands on craft project.

Check out the before and after pictures!

 I took down the frame, cork-board and shelf. I replaced it with a decorative accent wall. The branches are the color grey of the lighter walls and the flowers are a crisp white. To draw in accents, I painted mason jars the color of the lighter walls, added some burlap and vintage cherry blossoms to tie in the stencil.

 I cleaned up this wall by removing the shelves and the hairband storage thing (I really have no idea what to call it).

I moved the bookcase from this wall to the accent wall and the jewelry armoire moved the wall I showed previously. This really gives my room a more open feel and now I have a great open space to do yoga or sit and read.

I LOVE mason jars. I used them through out the room as accents. Some I painted the lighter grey I used on the walls and used them as vases. Others I decorated with glitter and used as a candle. At first I used tea lights but they were too hard to light so I found the fake candles and you cant tell the difference. Plus the jars don't get hot that way.


I'm loving my new calming and relaxing space!

Craft Time!

If you haven't already realized I love using my creative side and I'm very thankful that I am creative!

We recently had a holiday party at work where we did a White Elephant gift exchange. I decided to make the gift I was contributing. We had a $5 limit and this is what I came up with because who doesn't love chocolate?

I printed out the sign, then taped the chocolate to the sign before putting it into the frame. It seemed to be a hit!













The next craft project I took on is one for the little girl I watch. Her mom has always painted her nails but just recently the little girl has gotten really excited and into having her nails done. I thought what better than to get her some of her own little nail polishes (for mom to hold onto for her) and some of those nail stickers for children. I wanted to present it in a cute way. My first instinct was a mason jar because I love mason jars but she is only three years old and unfortunately that's all glass. I tried to find a clear plastic makeup bag but had no such luck. Then I decided to literally walk up and down EVERY aisle in A.C.Moore, which was good because I found something to use yet so bad for my fatigue.

I decided to go with this clear plastic "paint can" that I found. I also bought some fabric paint and flower stickers to decorate and personalize the container with.

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Here is the finished project!

 

I added some glittery tissue paper to the bottom of the container then added the nail polish it. All that is needed now is to find those nail stickers that I remember so fondly from when I was a child! 

I had so much fun decorating and personalizing it! I think she is going to be so excited when she opens it. Can't wait to see what project I decide to tackle next!

Stable

When you have MS, also known as Multiple Sclerosis, hearing that your MRI is stable is a good thing. At least it should be. But sometimes hearing that your MRI is stable can be just as hard as hearing that you have new lesions, sometimes harder.

This is one of the hardest roads I've ever been down. From the diagnosis of possible MS at 16, to the diagnosis of probable MS at 18, to the diagnosis of MS at 21 then being undiagnosed just before I turned 23. Then being told again that my diagnosis is probable MS six months later. It's definitely been a roller coaster ride.

It's hard when you are having symptoms with no reason why. They say its from the MS but the MRI's don't show anything new. It's hard, frustrating and drive you crazy. At least it's driving me crazy.

I'm at the point of not wanting to see doctors anymore. I guess it's a good thing that my neurologist set my next appointment for next December unless I have changes and/or new symptoms. It's been a hard road but I don't see it getting any easier. I don't want new lesions but I would like some answers. Answers would be nice.