Moving Forward

Tomorrow will be my last day working as the alumni assistant at my university. I have so many mixed emotions. Right now should be a really happy time, I'm going to be student teaching, finally getting my degree and graduating in May. I feel like I should be jumping up and down and doing cartwheels. Even though I couldn't do a cartwheel if my life depended on it but you get the idea.

I'm sad to be leaving a job that I have truly grown to love and co-workers who I really enjoy working with. I think this sadness is stopping me from being excited about the new journey I'm about to embark on. It is going to be a really exciting journey, it's everything I've ever wanted for a really long time.

But I just have this overwhelming sadness sitting on my chest like a huge elephant or another significantly large animal. It's just hanging out there without an invitation. This position was never supposed to be a long term thing. I knew that going into it..it was always just something temporary but somewhere along the way I fell in love with it and what I was doing. Teaching it's something I've always wanted. It's the career I've always dreamed of. It's everything I've ever dreamed of and what I've worked so hard for. So why is this so hard?

I know eventually the excitement I know I should feel for this new chapter in my life will hit me. I'll be ecstatic and doing the cartwheels that I thought I should be doing. Right now I just need to let go and welcome my new beginning.