Roll the Dice

No one wants to be sick, so I'm not sure why this is so hard. I want to cry all the time because I have no idea how to feel. I want to be happy about the possibility of not having MS but it scares me because then i have no idea what is really wrong with me. I try not to think about it but I can't help it. I feel like my world has changed again. I don't want to sit and dwell on it but I also don't want to pretend like it's not happening.

I feel like I know the move I need to take. It just doesn't seem like the move I want to make but deep down I know it's the right one. It's like when you are playing Monopoly and you land on Park Place, some how its a sense of comfort. You don't want to roll the dice and move from that spot. I have to take the move forward and take the chance because ultimately this will be good for me. But the one thing I know for sure is that I can't do this alone. I need back up and support, someone to help me stay grounded. All of which I know I will not be getting from my family. Some random thoughts and feelings I've been having lately. Just another part of my journey.