Today it hit me how truly unhappy I am with my life right now. I'm trying really hard to be happy but lately it's become so hard. The people around me aren't being a help at all. I'm trying so hard to just survive. I'm not looking for a happy ending anymore, just a couple good days where I can feel good about myself. But every time I think I'm having a good day something else comes and knocks me down. It seems like I'm having more and more bad days, when I could really just use one good one.
I hate this feeling. I'm not sure I've ever felt this alone and empty before. Like it's me against the world and I'm sure anyone is on my side. I'm so tired of fighting and I'm not even sure what I'm fighting anymore. Am I just fighting against myself? I don't even know. But I do know I don't think I've ever felt this bad about myself. I don't think I've ever felt like I'm disappointing so many people like I feel right now. I can't even find the words to say something to them. Mainly because I feel like over-reacting. But what do you do when the people you were closest to, suddenly turn mean...at least that's the way it feels.
I just really want to be happy again.
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