I just need some support...

Cause I was bored...so now I have a new background for my desktop. I love photoshop.

I'm trying really hard to start living for myself, having my own expectations and not trying to live up to the unbelievably impossible ones set in place by my parents. I'm trying to make some changes, which is hard for my because I absolutely hate change. So this is a good start right? It's kinda like a new start for me I guess you can say and it has nothing to do with New Year Resolutions. It's time to live for me.

The truth is...I miss you.

I think deep down I knew that adding a guy into the equation wasn't a good idea but I had to give it a shot right? But not that it didn't go well I'm at a loss emotionally. So do I try again, taking another risk? Or do I put it to the back burner once more?

I just really like this.

Sometimes I wonder how I got here to this place I'm at now. I honestly have no idea. I'm so unhappy and no one seems to understand. I hear "Well that's life" more and more from the people around me. "I don't have sympathy for you" is another I hear often. It makes me kind of mad, why ask how I've been feeling if you're just going to respond by saying something mean. Yes, right now I have periods of "hot flashes" followed by bursts of the "chills" and I understand that you have been dealing with hot flashes for a while now but just because I'm experiencing these things now doesn't mean I'm exempt from the real thing.

I'm just sick of everything....seems like a common theme in my life lately.