Part of me feels so empty, it feels like something is missing. And something is, isn't it? He is missing because now he is hers. I feel like this always happens to me. After a year of an amazing relationship; its just over. After days on end of talking 24/7 everything's different. You were more than just the guy, you were my best friend, you were there for me through my diagnosis, you never left until now. Now you are gone. All I want to do is cry because now your hers & I miss you. I hate when people say I guess it just wasn't meant to be but I thought we would be different.I guess you wanted her more.

All the words unspoken
Promises broken
I cried for so long.
Wasted too much time
Should have seen the signs.
Now I know, just what went wrong

I guess I wanted you more
And looking back now I'm sure
I wanted you more
I guess I wanted you more

My heart was open
Exposed and hoping
For you to lay it on the line
But in the end it seemed
There was no room for me
Still I tried, to change your mind.

I guess I wanted you more
And looking back now I'm sure
I wanted you more
I guess I wanted you more

I have no idea what you expect from me anymore and I done trying to figure it out. What's done is done, it's over.

My life at the moment. Lots of books & studying!

I'm a hot mess. Comfy clothes, messy hair and a ton of books surrounding me. Tv on in the background and my i-tunes blasting music from my computer. All while finishing final projects, papers and studying for finals. I'm almost done for the semester! I can honestly say I'm really proud of myself for making it through the semester.

I say I'm fine but usually I'm really not...

I got this card in the mail yesterday for my birthday. All I want to do is cry. Last year I celebrated my last birthday that I will have without knowing about my MS.

I don't want it to define me but these little things keep popping up. Like the really bad episode I had, then this birthday card and I can't forget the three time weekly injection reminders. I don't want this life.

I'm trying so hard to be positive about all this. I'm trying so hard to find some good but I can't. I can't stop wondering what the rest of my life is going to be like.

And I might be okay
But I'm not fine at all

Taylor Swift- All Too Well